Wow.

Isn't it absolutely amazing how we change over the years? I just spent about an hour and a half reading a journal I had written in from December 2008 to like... September 2010. I can't believe how dramatic I was during high school. Always worried about John cheating on me, complaining about not being happy at home. There was nothing wrong with my home life at all. I was just a selfish teenager. There were so many entries where I'd go from hating my life to happy as ever. It's kind of funny, looking back. But then I realize how nowadays everything's so different. For example, the MNGIE is here. That definitely changed my perspective on things.
Anyway, I just can't believe how much stress I let myself go under. I still do it, too, I over think everything and I always have to know things that maybe I'd be better off not knowing. My situation is difficult because I am able to admit these things, my flaws and whatnot, but I don't know how to go about fixing them or coping.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to blog, but I figured I'd get these things down tonight.
Today was terrible. We went to get my dressing changed today and Leo (the nurse who changes my dressing each week) wasn't in, so we have to try again tomorrow. We're going to start calling before we go because even a simple trip to the clinic exhausts me now.
I had a little breakdown when we got home because I was pissed that nothing was going right. My PCM sucks, and it seems like he isn't doing his damn job. Then there was a bunch of confusion with my GI appointment that's next week, and it was almost cancelled. Which would have been absolutely TERRIBLE because it takes them forever to get me in for an appointment, and rescheduling this would be hell. Not to mention I need to discuss a g-tube option with McNally. So I need this appointment.
I ended up getting frustrated, John ended up slamming the door when he left for work, and I ended up screaming bloody murder and crying myself to sleep. The two-hour nap made things a little better.

I've been making friendship bracelets. So far I've made 3; one for Kaitlyn and Kathy, and one for myself. I'm pretty proud of how they've been coming out. I figured out how to create my own patterns, so that's awesome.

I have therapy on Tuesdays now.
Looking forward to taking my bracelets and my beads to share with Pamela.